My friend Sherry text this morning and told me a beautiful dream she had:
"Had a dream about Mary last night. She was singing, singing loud a random song I've never heard before. It was so wierd!!!" "She was plain as anything. She was on a stage(like a school stage from childhood) and she was holding the mic and her voice was beautiful...no auto tune...I can't think of an example...it was like Celine only better. I am not joking. It was beautiful. It was creepy too. Super creepy because it was so real-like!!!!! I DO think she had a great Bootie!!! Hehehehe.....Love you"
Mary is speaking to me through so many people. How lucky am I ~ how lucky are we!
This is such a precious picture. I had to post it to Mom's FB wall on your 3-22 day. So many thoughts & comments came your way beautiful sis. I thought I should share the sweet words here.
Words of Love to Cherish:
Cousin Lynn: "Oh my God! So sad! What a beautiful picture of a beautiful lady!" Sherry: "Ah!!! Beautiful!!! :)" BFF Kerri's mom Mary Ann: "I loved this picture of Mary and her babies." Me: "So many beautiful pictures & memories of such a sweet sweet soul! She is still with us.....:)!" Katherine: "In Cardinal red :) Sweet picture!" Cousin Robbie: "Ahhh She was so beautiful..I wish I could have spent more time with her and got 2 know her better..xoxo"
Last Tuesday was a very special day.... your love and spirit were a presence in all of us sis. Friends and family - each one of us! We celebrated you sis because you are worth celebrating...
You were an example of life, now you are an example of the heavens!
You were in your children's heart and mind extra heavy that day. I spoke to Brett and although he didn't tell me verbally how much he missed you, I heard it in his voice. Kelsey told me she was sad so her Grandma Jojo took her shopping (hehe) and then to the flower shop to buy some pretty for you.
YOU ARE LOVED AND CHERISHED MARY!
Pretty cool how Kelsey picked out the exact same color flowers as I did and we didn't even talk about it! No coincidences sis ~ I know that. I know you had a little angel somethin to do with that.........
Hard to believe it's been 3 years today..... I miss you the same everyday!
The cardinal was on my patio first thing this morning chirping louder than usual.
My friend Denesa e-mailed me that she kept hearing "yellow flowers - yellow flowers - yellow flowers" then felt like she had to tell me! Pretty amazing sis! Since i had bought you pretty flowers (Yellow and Lavender) and a new lavender vanilla candle for you.... A friend posted a picture of your P.Diddy song "I'll be missing you" on facebook and didn't even know it was your favorite or that we played it for you at your funeral.I posted a sweet sentiment on FaceBook in honor of you sis! So many people loved you and their love poured out in their comments. I've got them here for you....
This one was from Kevin: "I remember how that ever gleaming smile, those bright eyes and that "voice of enthusiasm" (almost nonstop giggles included) of hers would always brighten any room she entered."
This one is from Momma: " I love you so much my precious Mary, you are so close and near to me and some day I will see you again!!"
This one from Christie: "I miss you "Coach" you taught me so much and I will love you forever. You were more than just my swin coach you were my best friend. :) Thinking of you and the kids today Jeni."
This one from Tim: "Great Pic she was blessed to have the sisters she had."
This one from Kerri: "I miss you B/F/F! You are in my heart forever and we will see each other again... "
This one from Sherri: "Mary, sweet and funny Mary who happen to have the best bootie!! Miss you Mary!! ♥"
There were many more thoughts, prayers and love sent my way from friends and family ~ you will not be forgotten sweet sis! I receive all your signs and I am so grateful you are still here with me! I love you now and forever. Until we are together again, I will Cherish your memories! We all will!!!
It was on this date 3 years ago I received the worst news I can't even begin to tell. My heart stopped beating, my mind went blank. I couldn't breath and then all of a sudden I began to yell! NO NO NO - it just can't be - not my precious Mary! She's too good to be gone.... Too strong! She's my sister and has a huge piece of my heart... I need that part of my heart! This can't be true! I refuse to believe it! NO! We're not old yet... Were supposed to be best friends when were old and laugh at all our childhood riff raff and support each other through lifes trials! Our bond is one - without her I am broken. She is one of the good ones....
My breath comes back, I begin to slowly see - this is true and the way it's going to be! I choke on my tears and can't stand the thought of what it was that tore us apart! I don't think straight ... I can't think straight! My family has to make the plans for me to do what I have to do to pack up and fly. Can I have a one way ticket to heaven please - it's my little sister Mary I want to see! In the midst of this terrible day everything I see was grey. Then out of the sky a vibrant red cardinal flew to my side. For just one moment I didn't feel the pain! There was something in that moment that gave me strength....
Now I know because it's 3 years later and I feel far from alone! I think you may be closer than you were when you were here! Your everywhere with me and in everything I see! It's you and me sweet Sis - forever into eternity!
I AM SO HAPPY! I have such a connective feeling to all the wonderful things going on right now. It's all part of my journey. I don't know how to put it in words!
Let me start by listing the 4 significant things I'm happy about right now and why:
1. The Synchro Project (http://www.synchroproject.org/)! The next big meeting is April 9th in NYC and that is coming up soon.... I feel like I am embarking towards great wisdom regarding all these wonderful things happening in my life! I'm going to make a book of all my synchronicities and bring it to this meeting. That's pretty easy since I have almost all of them all labeled here on my Mary blog! Can't wait to finally meet my synchro sister Lesley Roy! Since our connection, she has had a cardinal visit at a very significant time....
2. The Positive Pin (http://www.thepositivepin.com/)! This is such a sweet and simple little thing, but am so proud of it. A hometown friend brought it to life and its about to go global. This is what i am all about too.... I promote hope, love, inspiration and motivation through Positive Living! So I feel very connected to this Positive Pin!
3. "I Am" the Documentary (http://www.iamthedoc.com/)! I saw this posted on FB by my friend - the founder of The Positive Pin. I am so excited about this...... this docutmentary reminds me of my journey, my beliefs, my core! I looked up the showtimes and found that one of the Premiers is in NYC - Union Square next week, March 18th. Would you believe that it is actually in one of the buildings I work in?? Holey Moley. I sent it to the Director of the Synchro Project, my Synchro sister Lesley and may even make it!
4. Her Future (http://www.herfuture.com/)! A web community of like minded women working together to make our dreams come true by mentoring, inspiring, sharing, connecting...... I've met some incredible souls here and the more I connect the more I grow!
I could actually go on and on about all the people and things I'm so very grateful for but not today. This post is dedicated to the conectiveness of these 4 things going on right now in my life .......
I'm not sure what the outcome of this path I'm on is going to be and it doesn't matter, because all that matters it that I'm Enjoying the Journey... and that I AM!
I had the sweetest text conversation with my niece Kelsey - Mary's little legacy! First we spoke for 30 minutes about school and life! Brett even came in the room & told Kelsey to say Hi & he loved me! Then we started texting. It was so wonderful I have to share it here:
J - Your the best!!!
K - haha ur the beast and the best;)
J - U 2 my little gem!!
K - :) coooolio im a gem:) haaha ur could be a diamond ;)
J - You are!!!!! Xxoo
K - :) what r those purple gems called??
J - Amethyst
K - those are my fave
J - Mine too - I have another present for you :).... I'll mail later xxoo
K - im spoiled by u:) haha:) thank youu!!! :D
J - U deserve the world!
K - haha i dont know about that i think u do since ur so amazing;) haha ur like my role model man
J - Man am I lucky :)!! So much love!!
K - love u 2:) and word of the day is gruling (it think thats how u spell it haha) it mean disturbing or nasty haha
J - That's funny! My word today is auspicious!
K - let me think does that mean ur suspicious?
J - No hehe. When were together it's auspicious! Special, meaningful!
We've all heard the saying "Don't judge a book by its cover".... that's me!
There is so much history and mystery to my past that when I open up to a new friend, the expressions are always the same, "Wow, I never would have guessed"!
I love life, always have but it hasn't been easy. Not at all. I learned that it's not ever going to be "perfect" unless you re-define the word perfect! That is what I have done. Your "perfect" may not be my "perfect" and the great news is, THAT's okay!! I respect your perfect and only hope you respect mine. The secret to staying happy in my perfect world is I don't let your opinion of my "perfect" world effect me.
If you like my world, you are my friend. I love, inspire, encourage and cherish all my friends! We are unique in each of our own ways - I love originality ~ no blinders here! I surround myself with like-minded souls and pray for the lost souls who bring pain and grief to others for their own comfort.
There is so much to life. I realize that even more when my heart and mind are open. All we know is what we know (what society has taught us) ~ I want to know what we don't know. I am learning more and more through meditation with this in mind!
I love my journey. Good, Bad, Wonderful or Horrific the situations may be. I am who I am today because of all that I went through. My life! I love it!
I was talking to Kelsey a couple Saturday nights ago ... Her & Brett happened to be home alone and hungry! My mother instincts kicked in, forgetting we were 2000 miles away! I had to feed them! Light bulb goes off!
Ah-ha - PIZZA~delivery~pay over the phone!!!
Wow.... I never thought of that before. Kelsey looked up "Papa Johns pizza", gave me the number & the miles disappeared! I was able to feed my hungry lil munchkins from NY to Texas....
Hmmm, I wonder who sparked that light bulb in my head!?!