A Deep Thought

All we know is what we know!

What about what we don't know?!

That's what I want to know........

9-9-09

16 years ago today~ I got the most horrible news a daddy's little girl can get!
News that my dad had a massive heart attack and died!
I remember that day like it was yesterday! My whole world around me spun in confusion... It couldn't be true! My dad was only 49 and healthy as a horse!
This was my first real deal with death of someone I loved with all my heart. When that happens a piece of you dies with them.
I never hurt so bad in my entire 24 years of life ! I cried when I was awake and cried in my sleep.... Then eventually I had to find a reason to be happy again!

I realized that I was actually very lucky!

My dad had given me many gifts - love, compassion, the power of forgiveness, wisdom & stregnth! He taught me the qualities in life that really matter.
He taught me that I am unique and can have whatever I want in life as long as I worked hard for it and never gave up! Plus, if it was meant to be than it will be!

To be happy again, I began to focus on those gifts he gave me and I realized that I was lucky to have had my dad for the 24 years I did.... There are a lot of children who have NO dad at all or worse yet, a dad who was cruel and unloving... Leaving scars rather than gifts of love & life!
Yes, I found happiness again by focusing on these things. I Still miss him but know that he is still with me in all that I do and all that I am!

I love you dad!!!

Mary

Isn't she pretty? I've really been missing her alot lately....

Life

Life is strange....
It makes you tough yet beats you down.
It shows you pain yet offers you gratitude.
It fills you with joy and laughter on one hand
and tears of sorrow on the other.
It supplies you with a wealth of knowledge to rule the world
and then throws mysteries of disease and destruction that makes you feel powerless and dumb.

There is LOVE in this world and there is hate ~ now that is the one thing that will always be our own choice that life can't make for us! ~ Jeni

A Movie to See

Chad recorded a movie on cable the other night "The Secret Life of Bees"... it has an incredible cast (Dakota Fanning, Jenifer Hudson, Queen Latifa & Alicia Keys). Chad has had a fascination with bees and beekeeping, so it caught his attention. Then he read what it was about & thought it was definately a "Jen pick"... ~ he was right! It is a beautiful story about mothers and daughters.

I liked it so much that I have decided to add a portion of it to my blog by sharing the last words in the movie as written by the young Lily at the end of the movie:


"I guess I have forgiven myself, although sometimes in the night my dreams will take me back to sadness, so I have to wake up and forgive myself again. But Mary is always there. You feel her at unexpected moments. She will suddenly rise, and when she does, she does not go up into the sky, but further inside of me."


You have to watch it to understand the words above. I give it 5 stars in a feel good movie. I was startled to hear the above words being said... I felt like someone was reading something from my heart. I had to rewind and copy it word for word so I could keep it and share it with you.....

100% Pure Love

Pure, limitless love ~ this is what Mary gave!

When I was with her or when I spoke to her on the phone or when I read letters from her - it was pure love I felt. I know that may sound corny, but its true. If you know what I am talking about, then you are blessed.

I loved the way she loved me because it was mutual.... she was the star in my world. I had pure admiration for her! Mary was a star that would shine wherever she was ~ her eyes had this amazing sparkle and when she smiled, she would light up the whole room.

I loved it when she would laugh - she had a tendancy to open her mouth in a huge smile so wide you could see her gold fillings. I would tease her & tell her to be careful where she laughed like that... someone may try to steal her teeth. She would stop for a minute to think about what I had just said, realize it wasn't a possibility, say "silly Jeni" and then laugh some more.

Mary was the most beautiful person I've ever known! My sister ~

my best friend and biggest fan!

I miss her so much!

People have asked the question: "Is it better to have had love and lost it or to aviod the pain and never had it at all"? I choose to have had it because love does not leave us, it stays with us locked in our hearts and minds for us to share and remember.....

Soulful Peace

"May there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us."

Another Great Quote

It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link in the chain of destiny can be handled at a time.
--Sir Winston Churchill

How many times today will we think or say, "I wish I knew what was going to happen"? We can find contentment in the knowledge that God will take care of us, regardless of the outcome of any situation. And even more importantly, God already knows the outcome, and we'll know it too when the time is right. We never need to worry; all is well. We’re given the knowledge and direction we need when we're ready for it.

When Bad Things Happen to Good People

If you've read my blog about "Amazing Google Find", you will see why this note from the Universe is so cool.

Mary's friend found me a few days ago by googling for a book he wanted "When Bad things happen to Good People", now I open my e-mail and get this note:

Happy September, Jeni!

When "bad" things happen to "good" people, Jeni, it's often because they want to become even better teachers, guides, and helpers to those precious souls who will one day need them to be their rock.

Plus, today's bad is always tomorrow's boon, no matter who you are, no matter what has happened, and no matter how weak the coffee was.
Tallyho,
The Universe

What an amazing connection! I'm telling you, everyday is a new surprise..... makes me look forward to what is next.

**Just moments ago, I stepped outside at 9: 30 at night and I couldn't believe my ears ~ cardinal chirps were coming from the tree. It lastest a good 5 minutes. I tried to get Chad outside to hear the beautiful sound, but they stopped - the chirps were just for me.

I am constantly being amazed.