Wednesday, September 9, 2009

9-9-09

16 years ago today~ I got the most horrible news a daddy's little girl can get!
News that my dad had a massive heart attack and died!
I remember that day like it was yesterday! My whole world around me spun in confusion... It couldn't be true! My dad was only 49 and healthy as a horse!
This was my first real deal with death of someone I loved with all my heart. When that happens a piece of you dies with them.
I never hurt so bad in my entire 24 years of life ! I cried when I was awake and cried in my sleep.... Then eventually I had to find a reason to be happy again!
I realized that I was actually very lucky!

My dad had given me many gifts - love, compassion, the power of forgiveness, wisdom & stregnth! He taught me the qualities in life that really matter.
He taught me that I am unique and can have whatever I want in life as long as I worked hard for it and never gave up! Plus, if it was meant to be than it will be!


To be happy again, I began to focus on those gifts he gave me and I realized that I was lucky to have had my dad for the 24 years I did.... There are a lot of children who have NO dad at all or worse yet, a dad who was cruel and unloving... Leaving scars rather than gifts of love & life!
Yes, I found happiness again by focusing on these things. I Still miss him but know that he is still with me in all that I do and all that I am!

I love you dad!!!

2 comments:

Susan said...

oh, Jeni
your dad was so loving and giving. I just can't believe he's been gone that long.
It was five years July 13 for grandma,
one year for Uncle Rick Aug. 23
and now 16 years for your dad.
Loving memories of them all!!
love you and miss you
xoxo
and an extra really big hug for you today! Do you feel it?
susan

LKHarris-Kolp said...

Your dad must have been wonderful because his children are! I hope you are okay...love you.

xoxoxo
Laurie