Sunday, July 31, 2011

Happy Birthday Mary

Mary Mary my sister Mary

How I love you so....

Your children were here to celebrate your Birthday with me

this was so special you see....

On this day it was not only you we celebrated

It was my 7 year anniversary....

Off to the church we went

A speech I was to give and a coin I was to receive...

On this special day ~ your Birthday Mary

your kids heard me speak and gave me my coin....

Lucky lucky me for them to see!! Happy Happy Birthday sis!! What a day for me....

Friday, July 29, 2011

Cardinals of Love and Signs from Above

So many wonderful cardinal stories have been coming my way..... I'm so happy to share them here. I'm not the only one receiving messages of love and signs from above!

I have a friend named Betty who if I'm lucky, we catch the same train together. It had been a while and then I got an email from her saying: "I have a cardinal story, I cant wait to tell you!" That was on 7/5/2011 ~ we finally caught up with each other 7/18/11 – She went on to tell me that her mother had passed away the month before and during the funeral at her gravesite several cardinals were in the tree surrounding everyone. That same day as she returned home, she saw a cardinal sitting on her fence chirping at her...… Later that evening as she was speaking to her brother about the cardinal visits he told her that he too was greeted by a cardinal when he had returned home that night. They both immediately knew it was their mom.

Betty went on to say, "The day of my mothers death, before I even knew she was gone, I was in transit from NYC to Long Island and heard a whistle that sounded exactly like what my mother would do when I was a child when she wanted us home…" It wasn't until she got home that she found out she was gone. Betty was paid a visit and notified before she even knew….

On 7/17/11 my cousin Susan sent me an email sharing some cardinal love:

Mom wanted me to write you. We just read your blog post about wanting to know other cardinal visits. Well, this past Friday and Saturday we had a yard sale here at Mom's. And on both days we had a cardinal sitting in the tree across the street in Uncle Rick's tree watching us. Mom says it was dad watching as we sold his ball caps! haha. It was there both days and would sing and fly from the tree across the street to a tree in mom's yard. Mom says it usually visits daily. Love your blog! but love you more!! Susan

On 7/19/11 Mary's close friend Jana sent me this email about a cardinal sign:

Jeni, Mary is healing my heart everday! It truly is the small things that matter most. Mary would love that. i look for her daily and there is great joy. Was getting a little worried. I hadn't found my cardinal until last night- some friends were coming over to swim and visit- our kids are close friends. I was frantic cleaning in preparation. My boyfriend's hat hung from the chandelier so I took it down to hang it in the bedroom closet- a red baseball cap nothing unusual until I flipped it over- a red cardinal! My cardinal from Mary - telling me life must go on and to live it to its fullest. She would want nothing more. Amazing! I am working on a cross for Mary's grave. It is one I recieved at an Easter service - I will write and explain in a letter. I will have it ready. I will save it for when I visit Mary's grave - hopefully I can do that with you. I think that will make Mary very happy. When I finish I will send it to you to hold onto until I get the joy of seeing you again and visiting Mary. I love you more than words can say- you are one of God's angel's on earth - just like Mary!

On 7/24/11 I was headed to an important meeting I needed to be at:
As I was driving to this meeting, a beautiful red cardinal flew in front of my car. Then shortly down another street, I saw a female cardinal in the middle of the road ~ she flew away as I drove toward her. Later that evening, while in the auditorium I kept hearing a chirp chirp chip - I finally looked out the window and saw a little red bird in the tree looking in at me :)

On 7/29/11 I was headed home from the train with thoughts of the day to come - Kelsey and Brett, Mary's sweet lil legacies trip to NY is less than a day away! As I was deep in thought I was stunned to see, a bright red cardinal flew right in front of me. My heart skipped a beat and I yelped for joy. I know Mary's with me sharing my excitment for the upcoming visit.

All these stories are so special to me and would you believe that as I took a break and stepped outside just moments ago I heard a quick chirp chirp chirp out in the dark - this is so confirming that I'm not alone! I love you Mary!

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Cardinals ~ Messengers from Above

Tonya is a sweet high school friend I've been reconnected with through Facebook. Her aunt Blanca commented on a FB post her own cardinal connections and I had to share it..... I'm not the only one who has cardinal messengers. How wonderful this is! Thank you Tonya! ~xo~

Blanca wrote: "Hey Tonya, you know my Dad - your grandpa is the cardinal that you see all the time. He is watching over you. He comes to visit me at least 2 times a week. He comes to my window and sits at the same spot for a few minutes then leaves. I talk to him and then he flys away. God bless you, .............(your mom, Aunt Polly, Aunt Teresa, Aunt Gloria and Aunt Licha all know about our Dad being the red cardinal )"

I love hearing Cardinal connections and welcome your stories! I'm looking at one right now outside my window as I am writing this. ♥ ♥ ♥

Mary BFF Memories

Summer 2005 Mary went to visit her BFF Kerri in Florida to be with her during a tough time in Kerri's life. They decided to take the kids (Brett, Kelsey, McKensie & Skyler) to Disney World! Kerri came across these pictures of Kelsey & Brett and sent them my way!
Thank you so much Kerri!
I love these Memories to Cherish!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Jana Finds Me

July 12, 2011 ~ Mary's college roommate, bridesmaid and close friend Jana found me! She lost track of Mary with all the changes that went on in the last few years of Mary's life. (Different address, different numbers, etc...). She even hired a detective to find her. Then she found me and its been an amazing reunion for both of us. I was able to tell her the true story. Here are some of Jana's words shared with me through FB email ~ I cherish Jana's love and friendship and am so happy to have this Mary blog to journal this reunion:

Oh Jeni. You are anwered prayer. I know Mary guided me to you. I have only talked with Melissa. She was in contact with Mary and Brian both during the last years........I looked for Mary when I became pregnant with my son. I knew she would be so happy. All communication was lost. I found Brian on my space sent him and email and he ignored me. I knew something was wrong then. I called my mom and told her that in my heart I knew she was gone - I didn't believe it so I had an investigator run her record- it was nothing like what Melissa was told. Now the pieces fit. I have had no closure in all of this. She was my heart! I still remember the memory box that we put together for your dad for his funeral.......I love the website. Especially the m& m story. Can't tell you how many bags of those we went through. There is healing and Mary is using you to help me find my way. I have two sweet children -Morgan and Mikah. My M & M's if you will. Ive been asked many times about why both their names started wth an M. The symbolism of your story is amazing - just as they are Mary's initials. Proof she is still with me. .......God is so gracious! He knew I would need you - as did Mary. I needed the truth. All I had was fragments mixed with pain I knew Mary indured.......My heart breaks in all of this but I so need closure. I can't "let her go" without that. I love her so very much!!!
......All of this is so unimaginable. I know Mary had to feel scared and alone to do what she did. God promises a peace that passes all understanding. I am searching for that in all of this. Since I learned of her death, I have been drawn to a nearby beach. There is a peace and serenity there admist the grief. I didn't understand the significance until now - again Mary guiding me. Sitting on the dock I remember old praise and worship songs that Mary and I used to sing arm in arm as we walked around campus late in the evening. That is my favorite time at the beach. Mel and I have talked about visiting her grave. It is something I need to do-to say goodbye and hello at the same time. Odd, I know, but that is my hearts desire. The last memory I have of Mary and I is at sunday school at their church in Nederland. I remember how much we cuddled at night as we talked about our day - She loved for me to brush her hair and run my fingers through it. I always run my hands through my little boys hair. Never really realized the significance until now- silly I know but a simple tie that binds my heart to hers. Thank you for your willingnes to open your heart with me and share. It is something I so desperately needed. I will always be proud of her and the amazing friend that she was. I still have the pink comforter that we had in college to match the curtains my mom made for our room - hers was blue. I've never gotten rid of it for some strange reason. It is as soft as her hair and the blanket I use to curl up in when I need comfort - I now know why - My Mary. Again God knew what I would need before I did. She's been here the whole time. Oh Jeni. Thank you for loving me and extending your friendship in all of this. I know that makes Mary smile. It was important to me to know about Kelsey and Brett. Kelsey is a little Mary.. It was like looking at her all over again. That did my heart good. There's not enough words to convey all that I feel at this moment- just extreme joy and gratitude that you have such a loving heart like hers!!! Thank you for helping me find my Mary. I can't wait to visit more.....God is teaching me that there is joy in death. Mary would love my kids! I am more conscious of her now - thank you. She knew I would need that. Mel is struggling too. Mary knew that two. The three of us spent alot of time toghether at school. I know Mary is pleased that I have found you- she alway s was my guiding light......No one will ever be good enough for them - except their aunt Jeni!!!! Makes my heart soar to know they have you! You are my blessing from Mary. I know she is smiling now. I am finidng my way. It will be a slow process but I know you are part of that healinLove the kids for me.......Cheerleading will be my way of honoring Mary's memory in my daily life. The tears will be less now- I can breathe - something I have not been able to do since learning of her death. How lucky Mary is to have you! I remember how her eyes would light up when she would talk about you and how proud she was for you and Chad! I understand why!!! What an amazing lady you are with a spirit as equally loving as Mary's. I am looking for Mary's cardinal. Here's the amazing thing- my dad loves birds and feeds constantly. When I visit I get to sit on the porch with him and listen to him talk. I loved those moments simply because they were spent with my dad.. I will look a little them a little diffferent from this point forward. She's been here all along I just didn't realize it!!! Priceless- just as God intended.

What a gift - connected by Mary's love!

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Mystical Occurrences

On 7/6/11 I had a rough night full of post surgical pain. Chad got up before me and saw that my little hospital Teddy bear fell from the small bar counter onto the kitchen counter. Chad picked it up & laid it back on the bar. He went out into the other room and when he came back he saw that the little Teddy was in bed with me on his pillow.

This came as a complete surprise ~ a Mystery!!! The bar counter where little Teddy bear was laid is too high for the dog. Logically the only way for the bear to end up where it did is if Boo (cat) knocked it off the bar and Honey (dog) brought it to the pillow next to me. But I don't know - Chad was only gone out of the room a couple minutes and I opened my eyes to Boo on the nightstand, Honey by my side, little teddy bear on Chad's pillow and Chad yelling "What the heck???"
The mystery continues:
Boo comes into the bathroom with me every time I shower and acts peculiar ~ as if he's guarding the door. Well, on this mystical morning, Boo was looking all around, as if he was following something. I saw nothing!
I am not alone!

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mystical.
It is the source of all true art and science"
~Albert Einstein~

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Signs on the way to ER

Sunday, June 26th, 2011 ~ I was on my way to the ER due to painful complications after my gall bladder was removed.
I was sitting in the passenger seat while Chad drove me to the hospital to get some answers. As we were stopped at a light, there was a RAV4 Toyota truck in front of us with a tire cover I've NEVER seen before. It had the M & M characters all over it with a picture of a station wagon that said "ROAD TRIP". There was also a cover around the license plate with M & M characters and the number 38.
I sat there for a moment looking at the cover and realized how unique it was. Then as if a light bulb went off, I realized it was a sign. My Mary was with me!!! She loved and collected M & M's since they were her initials. The Road Trip was something we had fun memories of, we were always on a road trip with our family and we always laughed at our station wagon and how we were like Chevy Chase in "Vacation". The number 38 - the only thing I could connect that to was her age. That is how old she would be if she were still alive. Amazing!! I so wish I got a picture of it. With the pain I was in, I just wasn't that quick. (I looked on-line for a picture of an M&M tire cover & couldn't find one at all..... it was too unique!)

Then I received an message from an old friend from high school who we have been re-connected through face book. She said to me, "..... there are signs everywhere of *M*"!

Well, I get into the ER room where I had a tiny little elderly lady in a bed next to me. So cute and quiet she was, then I heard the nurse call her Mary. Wow...... I later went upstairs after being admitted and had a little elderly Italian lady for a roommate there too. Guess what her name was?? Maria (Mary in Italian)...... I was in such happy shock. I know my sister was with me!

I had two wonderful nurses I liked. Mitzie and Jen and then an orderly who took me back from my tests who was so nice, named Matthew.

All these beautiful signs of love that Mary was with me!!

When I finally got out of the hospital that Wednesday, I got a surprise call from my hairdresser asking if I still needed a haircut. (I had my sister in laws wedding the next day & I was a wreck?) I did, I did! I got in!! That was luck or the help of someone from above :) ~ then, Chad took a picture of me after the haircut and there was this tiny little blue orb on my shoulder...... just big enough for me to see and for me to know that my Mary was still with me!
I am so blessed to know I have Mary by my side!

I love you Mary so much ~ I believe you are attached to my soul!