Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Cardinal Christmas!

I was blessed with a cardinal the day Mary died and now I am swarmed by them ~ Males Females ~ side by side. Sometimes one male with two females ~ other times one at a time. Once I even had four females, 2 cardinals and even a blue jay! Never in the 5 years I've lived here have I seen any of this!!

I am comforted and surrounded by love!

The cardinal has become my symbol and its one I love. It used to be stars, but now it's red! Thank you Mary for staying with me and bringing extra support.

I guess if i had to name the spirits, I would start like this:


All the people I loved & lost!

Not really lost I see, only physically. I'm grateful to see and blessed to be - a recipient to the world of my loved ones spiritually!

Monday, December 29, 2008

My Dream ~ My Angel

I had a dream this morning...

I was going to visit Mary.

I'm not sure where it was, but for some reason I thought it was a hospital or jail, but in my dream as I got there, my feeling changed.
I walked into an open room with round tables at one end of it and open space in the middle. It was a warm feeling I got when I entered it. Mary walked over to me with a smile so spiritually warm I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I was taking in every detail of her. She had her old body back. The fit muscular build she had for so many years before she got too skinny. She looked so confident and strong, yet sweet. Her hair was soft, long and blonde. The way you would picture an angels hair. Hers was straight with no bangs just like always. Her complextion was startling soft. So pure! Like a babies new born skin. She had a beutiful baby pink gloss to her lips.
I looked deep into her eyes to see how she was.
That kind of look that saw into her soul.

I was looking for the oh so familiar pain I had grown to know for so many years. I was amazed that I couln't see any. I was happy but stunned.... for so many years that she was alive, I saw past her cheerful smile and energy and felt her inner pain. I didn't see any of that in my dream. It was peace I saw. Serenity ~ so Beautiful!! I woke up crying. . . . .

We didn't speak with words, it was as if we spoke telepathically. She guided my gaze with her eyes to a table in the distance that she had walked from. There was a young girl/lady sitting there with her back to us in a sorrowful slump with her head bowed - as if in emotional pain. A pain I felt that was close to home. Mary said "Look Jeni, a girl as beautiful as you - and I'm helping her". Mary was so happy and proud about it and I felt like she was doing what she was meant to do. It was a sign.

Mary is Beautiful, she is very much alive in Spirit,

she is an Angel doing good!

Sunday, December 21, 2008



There is so much love for you everywhere. You've left an imprint of your life for everyone to remember....some people have some really difficult shoes to fill. It's hard not to compare your ways to everyone who comes close. Your love, your energy, your beauty and your heart!

Your husband misses you sis! It breaks my heart to hear his broken heart. He asked me today if he will be with you in Heaven! Your kids miss you! It's not right that your not here! You already know how much I miss you, mom misses you, Lisa & David misses you....Chad & Victor too!
You may be gone, but you are not forgotten. I receive the signs and I feel lucky and blessed. I pray for you and I pray that you give some peace to Brian ~ he misses his lil Mary. Struggles and all. The way you made him feel was undeniably Loved... To be loved by you was such a treat. You truly made us feel special. You had that gift and because of you, so did we.
We miss you so much. It's going to be a Mary Christmas this year!

Friday, December 19, 2008

Thoughtful Mary missed

The Holidays are sad this year without you Mary....

I pulled out some ornaments and came across the one you sent to me December 2004 ~

The year Chad and I got back together! It was so thoughtful of you... you were so happy we were back together you bought a sweet ornament with a fairytale couple in a globe full of snow. You were always so giving and caring like that.

I come across alot of lil Mary gifts..... It's so hard to believe you aren't here anymore.
You were a gift sweet sis and its our memories i will cherish forever!

Remember: "I never saw faults sis, only struggles" ~ you were perfect to me!

I love you! I love you! I love you!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

My Cardinals

I haven't mentioned lately how I have had sooo many cardinals living around me. I am surrounded by them. Everytime I try to take a picture they fly away or I don't get good shots through my window.

This past monday there were 4 females, a male & even a blue jay! I have been blessed so many times now... i wish i could take a picture with my eyes.

I even walked outside at 2am and heard her chirp her so familiar chirp I've grown to know .... who knew she was awake at 2am!

Here is one i did get......

Snow for Kelsey & Brett

12-11-08 It snowed for Kelsey & Brett ~ in BEAUMONT, TEXAS!!!!
It's been many many years since that happened. What a special Christmas treat for them.
When I spoke to Kelsey a week ago, it was snowing here in NY & she was so excited & so jealous - she said she wished it snowed there.... well, she got her wish!

Thanks Mary!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Happy Heavenly Birthday Dad

Today is the day 65 years ago.... my dad was born!

What a very special day to celebrate. The world was blessed by his presence for 49 of them and I was blessed with 24 of mine with him! He is still with me in my heart & in spirit.

I know he's not alone today.... He is in Heaven with Our Father, his mom & dad, my precious sister Mary, baby Crystal, his brother Ricky and many many more!

I'm sure everyday is a celebration in Heaven ~ as it should be here. Either way, today's a day a I like to give thanks for my dad's Birthday. Without him, there would be no me.

What a wonderful dad I had! Thank you Dad for teaching me all that you did and encouraging me in all that I did and loving me unconditionally!

Happy Birthday Dad!

I love you with all my heart as much as I did when you were here!

Friday, December 5, 2008

Not too long ago....

Not too long ago seems like a lifetime ago. What I would give for "not too long ago". This was taken at Lisa's wedding 2003~ look at you!! So beautiful!
You just kept getting prettier & prettier even though you never needed to.

I was having a tough time then and learned that trip that you were too. You kept so much hidden for so long sis. You didn't have to. You knew what I was going through and you just loved me through it! I was ready to love you back to happiness too! I wish I could have stopped you from the spiral you were about to endure. You were supposed to follow in my footsteps lil sis. Well, I guess your extremes were multiplied. You gave 150% at everything....
i only wish it wasn't this.

Have I told you lately how much I miss you? Yeah, well ~ i wish i could come up with words that multiplied what i felt. "I miss you" just doesn't seem to cut it.
You know what i mean!

You are gone, but you are far from forgotten! You're attached to my soul sis!