Saturday, October 25, 2008

A Wish Comes True

    • October 13th, I posted a wish.
    • October 17th, I met someone connected to my wish.
    • October 20th, I met the one who could make my wish come
    • October 23rd, My wish came true.......

Who says wishes don't come true?

I made a comment on my blog how nice it would be if I could get Robin Williams autograph for Kelsey & Brett. Kelsey has made comments to me about how much she loved him. She thinks he is so funny! We all love funny - We all NEED funny!

August Rush is a movie Robin Williams starred in. The movie came out November 21st, the same day Mary was set free~ She was so happy to be with her kids again. Later, early Spring, Mary rented the movie and watched it with Kelsey & Brett. It happened to be the last movie they would ever see together.

I am so blessed to be able to give this gift to Kelsey & Brett. It's not only great just to have this autograph from one of their favorite actors, but for the special meaning it has as well. (Not to mention the incredible incidents that made it happen!) My mind is still in a state of shock how it all just came to be. It has to be some work of divine intervention. I wished upon my star!

Thank you Mary wherever you are!!

Friday, October 24, 2008

What do Angels Wish for?

Lil sis Lisa, Momma Sara & Big sis Jeni

We wish for more Mary, but grateful for the memories...

We wish for a different outcome, but will wait for the treasure in the end...

We wish for the broken hearts to mend, but will have faith your memories will help them mend...

We wish we were all closer in geography, but know our love makes our hearts beat as one...

We wish this life was fair, but know we can make it no matter what, as long as we have each other...

We wish to all be together, but our paths are where they are...

We wish we could see your beautiful smile and feel your cheers, but trust you'll always be near...

We miss you Mary...

I thought of you today, tear by tear. A little pond I made and a mascara smear. It hit me unexpectedly ~ I felt you near!

We love you forever Mary!!!!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

A Quote ~ for Mary by Thomas Edison

I read this quote today & I instantly thought of Mary... how true it is to her.

"When a man dies, if he can pass enthusiam along to his children,
he has left them an estate of incalcuable value"
~ Thomas Edison

Mary succeeded in this - she was fun and funny all the time (even a child). Although Kelsey & Brett miss their mommy more than any of us, they have been given a gift of stregnth and humor. They are so funny, even through their pain.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Amazing Connections

I had the most amazing day on Friday....

I met someone and learned something and gave something away.

I met a very special person on Friday ~ someone who has a connection to a blog I wrote a few days ago. It was as if I put it out there and this person was guided into my path. No coincidence. A common topic came up to my surprise, we are a part of the same kind of soul seeking lifestyle. All because I said "I don't drink anymore either"....

She told me about a meeting in the area and invited me to meet her there. I thought about it for a while and called Chad, as I spoke to him he yelled into the phone, "hey, there's a cardinal on our patio.... just sitting there!". Wow ~ that's a first. Mary was showing herself and so excited about this meeting. I could feel it!

I went into the heart of the Village - only a 15 minute walk from work.
I've been saying for months....

"I need to find a good meeting in the city"

"I need to find a good meeting in the city".

I have!

This meeting was incredible... I felt at peace as soon as I walked in. It was very cozy with a warm air of serenity. I found a spot opposite of my new friend and settled right in. I raised my hand and introduced myself as new to this spot. Soon after, they asked me to speak. Of course I said YES... I was due. It was the most incredible meeting ever! I met some wonderful people and heard some wonderful stories. I gave them as much hope and inspiration as my heart could give and loved them all even though I didn't know them. But I did know them.... they told my story as they heard mine! Togetherness with a common bond and a support of unconditional understanding. I floated out of there with promises to return & return I will!

I am being guided and I am loving my path! My eyes are open and my mind is alert... I'm ready for my destiny. The sky has no limits and neither does my way. I love you Mary, please stay!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Missing You


How sweet you were.....

I told you my heart would be open to you everyday and it is! My heart was heavy today with thoughts of you. I wish you were here. I can hear the screel of you sweet voice and the way you would say "Jeeennnni"! You had such an enthusiasm in your voice everytime I heard you. So excited ~ all the time. We were so happy to talk to each other.
No matter what mood I was in, my heart just melted every time I talked to you. I would just smile to myself on the other end of the phone and get lost in the world we were in for those moments of time dedicated to each other.
I wish we had more time Mary. I look for you everywhere. I know you can feel my thoughts and you try to comfort me with your spirit. You do, you do. Thank God for my memories of you, they keep it real. Otherwise I would just think our past life was just a dream.

Long Beach Memories

  • I remember how we loved the rain when we were little. I was 6 and you were 3. We would get our blankets and stuffed animals, open the door and just cuddle up watching the rain & count until the thunder struck after each light from the heat lightning. No matter how repetitive it was and right on count, 1.... 2.... 3.... BOOM ~ we would screel in delight. Oh how I loved you. My sweet lil sis.

  • Bunkbed buddies! HA, now those were some good times when we used to tuck all the sheets in the top bunk so we had a fort in the lower bunk & play operation in the dark.

  • How bout the time you let me cut your hair? We hid behind the couch as I grabbed a chunk right on top, I cut cut cut to the root - what a chop! I got in so much trouble. You didn't care. I looked just as funny since I took the scissors to my hair too. What a pair we were.

Monday, October 13, 2008

David's Guidance

Okay, I know ~ 3 posts in one day! Well, it's been a full day... good stuff. I just have to write to share about what my brother David just told me:

He does the 52 mile country bike ride (in the hills) in Garner State Park near San Antonio.

He did it this weekend & is happy to say he made it through this year. Last year his shoe melted. Yeah, don't ask. LOL.

Well, he completed it, but got lost at the end. No other riders were around and his map was not very helpful. He didn't panic. He said it was a tough ride and there were times when he wanted to quit, then he would think about Mary and she gave him energy and a push. She was such an encourager with her determination and stregnth. She was a great inspiration. She has run those paths in San Antonio and swam those rivers and biked those hills in triathalons! She was incredible. She was there with David and helped him through. At the end, when he was alone and lost in the hills,
he came to a crossroads and a sign that said "Dos Cardinals Ranch"....
he couldn't believe his eyes. WHAT A SIGN! He didn't have a camera to snap a picture. Not even his phone. He had to make a decision on which way to go. He felt guided by Mary. Within minutes he came to a small town of 2 and asked if they had a phone he could use. The kind lady kept asking if he had AT&T. Not sure why that was, but he made the call to his friend and got home safely. It looks like he has an angel and her name is Mary!

Thank you Mary ~

Jen's Secret


It happened when I gave my will over to God. I was tired of doing it my way.

He taught me:
To Forgive myself and my past wrong doings. They were past – not present, as long as I left them there.

Acceptance of my powerlessness. From there I was able to change. I became whole heartedly willing to listen to learn.

Openness and Willingness came with the acceptance.

Patience – to stay in the day and not waste moments of life projecting or assuming the unknown.

Belief. He taught me to believe in myself even with the wreckage caused.

Humility. I learned to humble my thoughts and quiet my negative mind. I filled it with positive feelings, thoughts and affirmations. I filled my cup of life with everything positive, right and good.

People, Places & Things. Anything toxic I got rid of.
I became grateful for what I have, not for what I don’t have. I learned that I may not have all that I want, but know that I have more than I need.

Peace, Love and Harmony have filled my world. I always have faith & hope in all situations. Everything happens for a reason.

Thank you Lord for all I’ve received and all that I’ve lost and the Wisdom from my experiences and People in my Life!

Thank you for my dad who has passed. I miss him so much, but know he lives on within me every day!

My Prayer to Remember:

I pray that you may help me always be a Power of Example.
Never a Preacher or a Bearer of Burdens and
To remember that with You, through me, these things are possible.


Mary's lil Angels

Remember this picture? Lisa's wedding...Brett was so cute ~ such a flirt that night. He danced with every girl he could. We were blessed with his fun flighty spirit. I remember just laughing and having so much fun watching him!

I spoke to Kelsey & Brett yesterday! They sound okay.... I know better though. They miss you so much! They are tough, they have inherited that inner stregnth from you. Brett is just so sweet & so friendly. He was playing with some friends. They were at Kelsey's best friend Camilla's house. Camilla has 3 siblings just like us. Thank God for Camilla & her family, they have really been there for Kelsey & Brett! I miss them so much. Kelsey today said she saw that movie "Beverly Hills Chihuahua"... She is so good about telling me the whole story when she sees a movie. She said you would have loved it! I believe it. Everyone knew how much you loved dogs. Chihuahua's especially. You loved those lil things because they remind you so much of us (lil, but full of life!).....
I saw that movie "August Rush", the last movie you saw with the kids. I loved it too. Kelsey said you didn't like the ending. I wish you were here so I can tell you how you should interpret the ending, you would have liked it then.
I was thinking, I have spoken to Robin Williams a few times on the phone due to my job. I wonder if it would be out of line to tell him how much Kelsey loves him & how August Rush was the last movie you two saw together and if would mind autographing an August Rush photo for Kelsey. Hmmmm, I'm going to see if the opportunity arises. Why not right?
Well, I'm praying I can visit them next month. . . I NEED to! My heart aches for them everyday.

You are still with us Mary. I love you so much!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Mary & Jeni Video

Push the Arrow to see a short clip of Mary & Me ~ xoxo

Friday, October 10, 2008

Sisters Alike

There is just something about this picture I like so much.... for one, we all shared the common bond of cheering and dancing! Each with our own special technique on it. I was the dancer, Lisa was the cheerleader & you sis were both! Just shows you, that you could do be anything you wanted. Anything you set out for. You always amazed me and always made me so proud! You were a wonderful lil sis to me, looking up to me and following in my footsteps and then you were a wonderful big sis to Lisa, loving her and including her in everything unlike alot of big sis's .... I bragged and bragged about you and was so overwhelmed with pride for you. Especially after going through what you went through in high school and then bouncing back into life with a vengeance. A vengeance of achievements! I love you so much! For who you were. For what you stood for and how you lived your life.
The other reason I like this picture is because of how it captured each of us.
Lisa, standing strong and tall, just like who she has always been. Beautiful and strong in her faith. You, sitting there so comfortably in the splits bursting with pride and an energy that is and was so contagious. I see it! Then me, just standing there as the power of example, but yet looking down as a big sister does, caring for you, just as you needed.
What a blessing to have what we all had together. Triangle of love. Three hearts that beat as one.
You are still with us sis and we have the memories to live on. We are your fan club and I am proud to be the President of it :)... hehe!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Bleeding Love ~ Mary's Blessing

I know this is an old picture, but I really like it... you & Brian were so young and so happy! Kelsey was just a baby!

I spoke to Brian today... it was nice talking to him. We share a bond ~ A love for you! A love from a depth deep in our hearts. It helps to talk to him. We went through so much together the last 2 years of your life. Just trying to help you through the living hell as much as we could. You had alot of life-lines Mary. So much love. I know you knew that. We all tried to love you until you loved yourself!

Well, as I was talking to him, I was standing outside Penn Station getting ready to catch my train home, when I heard above everything else, the song that I have associated with you since you left. "Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis. The song was coming from the 2nd floor outdoor bar across the street. I love that song and it just seems appropriate to how my heart feels ~ like its bleeding. I listen to that song almost everyday on my ipod and I just think of you.... miss you.... cherish you!
I think that was a sign, hearing that song as I was telling Brian that you want him happy & you know he will marry again, but also that you know he will never love anyone like he loved you. I know you were giving your blessing to him. I also told him you were at peace now and know your soul.

We spoke about how you used to leave notes all the time - any kind. On napkins, post-its (especially lil purple ones), any piece of paper & leave it in the kids lunch boxes or around the house. Sweet lil notes saying how much you loved them and how wonderful they were. You were so sweet sis... so loving.

How lucky we were to be a part of your heart!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008


I love this picture. Look how happy we all look. Kelsey is having so much fun!

Thank God for my Faith... It lessens the pain. It doesn't take it away, but it certainly helps.
With my faith I can receive the blessings of spiritual heartfelt visits and it gives me the hope that I WILL see my loved ones again. The losses are temporary.
With Faith I have Hope!!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Somethin to think about

Okay... i have a fun question.
Chad & I were talking about some good ol' times back in the 90's. That got us to thinking.... We've been a society that references times by blocks of years (60's, 70's, 80's, 90's).
What do say in a few years about the years 2000 - 2009? Do we say "back in the 00's"?

Do we just speak of them individually? Even the 10's... do we say teens?
It may seem like a silly question & I'm sure we will figure it out when the time comes, but it's kinda fun to try to figure out now. Think about it, if you have any thoughts, let me know :)...inquiring minds wanna know.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Moments to remember

Thank God for pictures and memories.... I remember this day. It was a cold morning for Texas and it was really really early (Mary time!)
I went to swim practice with you where you were a wonderful motivating coach. So many students loved and adored you. They looked up to you and your inspirational spirit. I was happy to experience that with you and as always, was so proud to be your sister.
You were so incredible in all that you did and touched so many lives along the way.

I had to add this picture below. It was the same visit. You loooooooved Taco Cabana so much I'm surprised you didn't name your kids "Taco" & "Cabana".... hehe. Just kidding. So pretty......

Friday, October 3, 2008

People do change!

I just have to share something funny ~ or at least I think it's funny & I know for a fact Mary would laugh & definetly relate to it because she has always been a dog lover... it wasn't until the very end that she started to soften up towards cats.

Chad has NEVER EVER liked cats. Pure dogman - all the way. Well, that was until Boo came along. I brought him home one day 4 years ago & said we had to have him, he was born on a VERY VERY special day. I had a promise to keep to myself & to him & if I didn't keep it, Boo would have to go away. Boo became my insurance to keeping my promise. Somehow, Boo has gotten to Chad & he actually likes him. I won't use the LOVE word because that would be pushing it....LOL. Boo DOES act alot like a dog the way he plays, fetches, greets us and begs ~ yes, he begs!! He even comes to our call & Chad has a special signal that makes him jump on his lap. Yes, its a bit amazing and i'm really taking a chance in putting this on paper, because as much as Chad likes him (without saying so), there's a part of him that doesn't like that he likes him. Like he's being unloyal to the dogman in him.

Okay, the funny part: Chad went to the pet store for me for Boo today all by himself & he told me he was embarrassed to be shopping for a cat... he associated it to buying tampons. I don't know why, but i just laughed & laughed & laughed at that. I still am. LOL!
Poor Chad - he's been Boowhipped! & he don't like it!!!
I'm gonna be in so much trouble if he reads this. I had to. This is a story so up Mary's alley!
This one was for you sis.... I love you and think of you EVERYDAY!!