Saturday, February 28, 2009

Wings of Love

This picture of these pretty white doves was taken in Houston after Mary's funeral in Beaumont .... in the parking lot of "Taste of Texas"! I thought it very unusual to see such pretty love birds just sitting there on the fence. They were so sweet looking ~ I tried to capture their beauty in a picture. This one doesn't do the justice it deserves, but I will take it.

I'm blogging this picture today because I had a little tan dove appear at my feet this morning when I walked out my door. I stopped short in my path when I heard the quiet coo-coo-coo of the bird. I moved the garbage I was carrying so I could see where it was going. I stood as quiet as I could... when I moved a couple feet it fluttered up but didn't go far... it was still near me. I put the things in my car & walked over to where it landed, it fluttered again but still didn't go far. It was such a pretty sight and sound. A great way to start my day. That's why I posted my pretty lil dove birds from last March. It's such a rarity to see a dove in the wild, that when I do see one or some, they are always a treat. A comfort to smooth any sadness away.

Soothing signs ~ reminding me I'm not alone!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Mary, Mary

Mary, Mary

My sister Mary

How I love you so.

With Cardinals of love

and signs from above,

I'm able to live my life

with your memories in tow!

With the weight of the world

and pain in your heart,

You left us to wonder "Where did it start?"

Could we help you more

or was this your destined end?!

To know we will meet again

gives me hope

to pick up the peices and mend!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Mary as I knew her

I see this picture and I feel what I felt that day I saw you... pure admiration. This was the day you drove to Houston with Brian and met Chad for the first time. 1994! You were just 22 years old and I was 25. You were so beautiful. Everything about you. Always so happy ~ your energy was contagious. I always seemed the happiest when I had you near me. A love, a pride a guarantee smile. Everyone who met you loved you. How could they not?! You would just stand there with a huge smile on your face - with pure joy radiating from you.

I miss you Mary - I miss you so much it hurts. Too young to die - too sweet to have felt the pain you did. I look out my window & see you with me. Bright red birds of beauty, real life signs your here.

I feel the hole in my heart and fill it with tears and memories, then I'm able to go on. How grateful I am to have what I have and have what I've had. It's a blessing ~ My memories to Cherish!

Have you ever smiled a smile straight from the heart? Pure love pushing the corners of my mouth up to the sky! That's what I felt when I saw my Mary.....

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Valentines Love

This Valentines picture was sent to me from my sweet neice Kelsey!

What a wonderful day I have had......let me share with you!

It started out with me waiting patiently for my canary diamond Chad was having delivered to me on Valentines Day by UPS. I waited outside and saw the FedEx truck, the mailman and a moving van. I was in the breezeway at one end of the building waiting and watching and listening to the cardinals chirping at the other other end of the building. Then UPS fianlly arrived. It was a start to a beautiful day.

I went into my closet and pulled out my PINK sweatshirt from Victoria's Secret and told Chad that this was Mary's favorite sweatshirt - I think I'll wear it today.

From there we went to the "Lavender Letter" to pick up our "Save the Date" cards. They turned out BEAUTIFUL!

Chad had a surprise for me and told me he wanted to take me somewhere Mary would want to go. I was ready. With Mary in both our hearts, we pulled up to the "Little Shelter" where they were having a dog adoption event. (If you knew Mary, you would know her love for dogs). We parked our car in a woodsy area and as we got out, there was the most beautiful cardinal that appeared to us on the wire fence between the animal shelter food shed and the area that we parked. It was redder than the cardinals that have made a home behind my patio. It was small and had a shine that glistened like a star. I was amazed. She was with us today. We didn't adopt a dog, but we did meet one that was so much like our "Angel" we had so many years ago. The cardinal was there to say Good -Bye, possibly even to say Happy Valentines! What a wonderful Day it has been!

As if that wasn't enough to make my day, Chad & I went to a jeweler that the "Lavender Letter" lady, Vivienne had recommended to us for a setting for my new canary. We felt welcomed the minute we entered. We mentioned what we had in mind and the sales lady was off to the engagement ring section and came back with EXACTLY what we had been dreaming up. I couldn't believe it ~ we are very particular with what we want and was in shock when she brought to us exactly that! Wow!

It's been the most incredible day today! Mary has been with us all the way.

Did I mention I got a beautiful lil Valentines day card from Laurie in the mail ~ with a comic from "Mutts" showing two dogs in the snow saying "this place needed a splash of red" looking up at a cardinal in the tree?

So many signs! Mary's signs are fluttering all around us!

Make Every moment Cherishable

Pictures, videos, recordings....... "captured"time and words of love to all those that mean the world to us! Make them, keep them and cherish them. With these, it helps to heal when we need it. Treat each day as if it were you last. Just love with your whole heart & don't hold back. Why hold back? What's there to lose?

I lost my dad suddenly & I lost my sister tragically. That is enough for me! I am fortunate to have been taught to love the way I described above. My dad used to record his calls with Grandma and I didn't understand back then, but i do now.

My dad would hug me so hard everytime I walked out the door. It was a hug to remember. (eventually I learned to not wear big earrings with my dad because he would hug so hard the post would poke me hard behind my ear). What I would give for that hug today.

I recorded a couple conversations with Mary - they are on my phone. I listen to her sweet lil voice every now and then and it brings me love. She had a voice of an angel. I miss you dear Mary....
This blog is my place to Cherish these Memories! I love that it is here and I love that I can share it with you! I know Mary receives these blogs of love ~ she has acknowledged it to me!

Friday, February 13, 2009

Notes from the Universe... TUT

Yes, I get notes from the universe....LOL! It started out as just "fun" & now it sometimes amazes me.... when there is something going on in my life & then I get a note from "the Universe" that reaches out to me and says something in reference to it.

Like these two I got earlier last year:
"I've been thinking about your Book, Jeni. Actually, I've been thinking about it A LOT. Even considering how it will affect other aspects of your life in wonderful, unforeseen ways. Sometimes (daily, to be honest), I even imagine you already own it. I vividly see you enjoying it; your heart racing, your friends talking, and your neighbors gawking. I can literally hear their ouuuhs and ahhhhhs, I can feel the high-fives, and I can taste the thrill of success on your lips.
How about you?"

Hubba, hubba - The Universe

"Act the part, Jeni, act the part.
You will have it published. It's a
done deal. Actually, I've already sent out the party invitations."

Act the part,
The Universe

A book?! Yes, I have a book in me. Actually, I think I have a few books in me. A friend of mine tonight said so herself.

Here's another note from the Universe I got recently:

"Jeni, it's as if the stars have aligned, the word has been spoken, and you've won the cosmic lottery. This is it! There's never, ever, been a better time for you to touch, teach, and heal millions of people."

Make haste,
The Universe

I may not take it seriously all the time, but it sure is a sign from somewhere that I may be preparing to help, heal and motivate with all that i am from all that i know and all that i've been through. I wouldn't say it's out of the question.....

I do feel the happiest when I am sharing and making a difference. That is my passion.

Let's wait & see...

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Sunday, February 8, 2009

A Sisters LOVE

Sisters by Chance..

Friends by Choice..

Best Friends if Lucky!

How lucky we are - Jeni, Mary, Lisa - Friends for Life!
This is a fun picture....
Mary & Lisa wanted to raid my closet & play dress up ~ I was game! (Yes, Lisa was the only one with heels on - that's why she towers soooo much over us!)

Blog Names....

I'm trying to decide on a blog name that fits this blog I've dedicated to My Mary! What I really want is: "A Sisters Love" or "Memories to Cherish" & they are both taken :(..... "A Sisters Love" is my first choice & I may be in luck because I saw that the domain name expires on 8-5-09 and the person who took it is not "using" it. hmmmmm, lets all pray for it okay?

Other names Chad & I came up with are:

"Loving Mary Forever" - as you see I've changed this blog to (for now).
"My Sister Mary"
"Memories of a Sister"
"Remembering a Sister"
"Remembering Mary"

Let me know your thoughts & your favorites.

All I know is I miss Mary so much it hurts everyday. Sometimes I feel her presence in front of me trying to comfort me. I just wish I could have a hug from her. I just wish I could hear her sweet lil voice tell me how much she loves me. I just wish I could look into her eyes and feel her energy - her eyes shined with it. I would just smile as I looked at her because she brought that out in me. A vision of adoration is what she was - she was like an Angel here on earth. The Heavens are so lucky to have her now. She is where she belongs. I know we will all meet up in the end. I just wish it didn't end so soon in this lifetime.

Blogging takes some of the pain away......letting it out and sharing it cuts it in half. Thank you for sharing this pain with me.
Memories to Love!

Friday, February 6, 2009

Taco Cabana Tears

Here's a picture of your legacie's Kelsey & Brett - loving TC!

All who knew you Mary knows your love for Taco Cabana! Your excitement for those chips & salsa and tacos was so fun and so contagious.

David was there last night all by himself and memories of you overwhelmed him.... I got a call from him at 9:20 last night with tears choking him up -
I could barely understand him.
He misses you Mary. We all miss you.
There are so many memories of you everywhere we go.

Taco Cabana has always been a love by all of us, but even more so now.
Taco Mary! If you had to live on Taco Cabana alone I'm sure you would've been fine with that :)!

Your loss hits us all at different times. Your memories keep you alive.... I intend to keep you with us with 35 years of memories.
We love you Mary Emma!

Sunday, February 1, 2009

I Believe....

I Believe that:

Hope Survives,

Love Prevails,

Tears Cleanse,

Memories Comfort,

Faith Soothes,

Good Thoughts Reassure

and that our

Belief in a better place Calms the Heart!