Mary Hears Me

U know my Mary pad?  The one I have been writing notes to her since she's been gone?

I wrote on it this morning....  "Where are you sis?  I'm in my new home.  I feel your presence but......".  I hadn't received a sign in a while and  was missing my little red cardinals and morning doves that I had all around me at my old home (they had shown up after Mary left and made a home outside my window).

Well,  tonight my massage therapist randomly told me in the middle of my session, "Lavender is healing"- I didn't say anything then,  but after the massage I told her that my sister had said that in a reading I had from a medium the year she passed away.  (Mary had mentioned the notes i was writing to her and told me to get lavender paper to write on, because lavender was healing.) 

Then I got my answer to the question I wrote to Mary:

My massage therapist said she got chills and then said my sister was here & she was the  conduit to let me know she's still with me!!!

The massage therapist also said that we were supposed to be in room #3 but instead she put us in  room #4 which she said was an angel # !

Mary Day

I have decided that this day is the official  

"HONOR and LOVE Mary Day"!

March 22nd, 2013 - 5 years ago today Mary left the earth but never our hearts.

She is here, there and everywhere, continuing to shine her light through me to YOU!

To honor my Mary, every year I buy a new lavender candle for their healing powers.
Did you know that there are healing powers in Lavender?
We all know lavender is a wonderful aromatic for everything from hair to sheets but it is also a great source of healing.
The herb eases muscle pain, but lavender can help many physical and even mental ailments.
Lavender is generally used in two forms, as an herb and as an essential oil. In herbal form, it is ground up and made into tea. But lavender’s oil is its claim to fame.

I also buy my Mary some flowers on this day - I always make them yellow or lavender. I chose yellow because they remind me of Mary - Now I know why! After googling what yellow flowers mean - I instantly found this:

Per Mary M. Randall (LOL - of course its a Mary)...The yellow flower color meanings are that of cheerfulness, enthusiasm, truth and clairity and are understandably associated with sunshine or rays of light.

Well.......this year I decided to do something different:  I'm going to buy a red balloon and let it go!  I've shared this with my friends, family and soul sisters and am amazed at theabundance of loving support.  My FB page has blown up with red balloons and so much love!

Angel Whispers

Cardinal Wedding

This picture was the beautiful cake Nancy made for me at my wedding shower..... she added my lil cardinal! This is the lil cardinal still with me on the top of the star jewelry box Mary gave me years ago ~ on top of it says: "You are the Star I look up to"... I used it to hold jewelry for my wedding!

This is the centerpiece Nancy put together outside on her deck where we had the "out-of-towners" dinner the night before our wedding!

This is the memorial table at my wedding with my Grandma's cardinal statue that was passed along to me when my Uncle Ricky passed away last year.

Flowers of Love

Would you believe I got both of these flowers from residents in the last two weeks.

I received the ones in the green vase last week from a resident's mom ~ she said these flowers came from her garden. This week, I received the flowers in the brown vase from my resident/friend Charlotte who received them and had to leave town so she wanted me to enjoy them.

Crazy how both sets have my favorite flower in them, "The Sunflower". Yellow and purple/lavender have been my colors all year and it seems that I am being surrounded by beauty with those colors.

How lucky am I??

Today! Tears & Joy...

DEAR MARY~

I cried for you this morning when I read your dear friend Laurie's poem on her blog about you! It was so sweet & I just sat there picturing you as she described what you were wearing that last day she saw you.

Then I went about my day, thinking about how I wish you were here with me. I was headed to try on my wedding dress that had come in just days before. I went alone, but felt you with me.

Then I went to Michaels craft store to get things for Courtney's baby shower.... your sweet lil Kelsey called me. She sounded a lil sad & I didn't have to ask why, I already knew. I hung up with her with a promise to call later that night.

I went home & picked up Chad so we could pick up my wedding shower favors at "Bed, Bath & Beyond" ~ you would love them Mary, they were bought because of you. Lovely soothing lavender fragnant diffusers. We headed to Party City after that & I had to sit in the car for a few. I started crying as I thought about Kelsey & Brett & how they have to live without you. My heart bleeds for them. My loss is terrible, but I have 35 years of memories, they only have a few.

It's been a tough day today Mary... but it gets better - YOU MUST READ ON...

Staying with the wedding/baby shower theme for the day, Chad & I were looking for a particular picture for Courtneys shower when I came across a video of photos of you that Chad & I made only a month after you left us.. once again, tears just ran from my eyes, dripping down my face. I couldn't stop them - I tried!

I had to head out to go to meeting....

Weak from crying, I started to drive, I had to stop short in my tracks because a Robin walked RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY CAR! I thought that was peculiar and it even made me smile. The lil bird seemed to be there just for me. To take my mind off the pain and brighten my day. It did - for a moment!

I was almost out of my complex, when all of a sudden TWO Robin's flew within 2 feet in front of my car. They got my attention! Again!! The first incident was pretty incredible, but the second one made me start questioning my sanity. Was this really happening? Am I really being summoned by these birds or am I imagining things?! Have I opened myself up to see this or is this a normal daily thing I never paid attention to before? I don't know. It seems too incredible to be true. As I'm questioning my sanity, I am also bewildered with sheer joy with these encounters. Whether I was going insane or not, I loved it!! Well, it doesn't stop there.

I left the complex and headed down the road. As I was slowing down, I had to come to a halt because another Robin walked (Yes, Walked!!) right in front of my car. That is 4! 4 Robins comforting me... stopping me in my tracks to bring me back to my senses. You can imagine my state of sanity at this point! yes, I was beyond words, my head was spinning with excitement. Certainly this has to be an act of God! Never! Never in my 39 years of life has this happened to me. I would remember! Wow! This had been the most adventuresome journey. I continued on to my destination. With my window cracked for some fresh air, it was the Robin's distinct tunes I heard. As I neared the place I had to be, I happened to look up on the telephone wire and beautiful grey dove was perched up there staring at me. I am about to lose my mind at this time because I am so amazed at the wonderments of my birds following me. I pull into the parking lot of my destination and hear the sound of the Robin's song up in the tree. I raised my head high and what did I see?? A Robin at the very tip of the big tree.

Well, needless to say, I had a wonderful meeting - Oh, I almost forgot, the person speaking at my meeting was wearing a baseball hat with a RED CARDINAL on it & his name was David!!

Mary, Mary, Mary - you are everywhere - the signs are here for me to see! I see! I see!

The day isn't over just yet... I spoke to our sweet lil sis Lisa & she tells me about her blog she was inspired to write about you today. So beautiful it was! It brought tears to me one more time.

Your life was so valued here Mary & we miss you so much.

Thank you so much for staying near.

I spoke to Kelsey again to end my day....

don't worry Mary, she's going to be okay.

Healing with Lavender

3-22-08 ~ This is the day one year ago that Mary passed away...

In honor of Mary I spent the day doing things for her:

• I started out by talking to dear Laurie who gave me some news about some words that were said this horrible day one year ago. The words that pushed her over the edge and made her do what she did. She confirmed some things that I only assumed. God will handle this because I've given it to him! Besides, Mary told me I need to forgive.


• I went on to GameStop to buy lil Brett the Pokemon Platinum, in hopes to make his day! I spoke to him and Kelsey to let them know how much they are loved and the plans I've made for them to come to NY on their mommy's B-day!


• I went to Bed Bath & Beyond to buy some Lavender candles to burn in honor of our sweet Mary! Thank you Chad for this incredible idea. I've posted a picture of my precious Mary memorial at the top of this blog.


• I spoke to Mom, Lisa, Kelsey & Brett - reached out to David & Kerri! Nancy, Charlotte, Courtney & Bill reached out in honor of her day!


• I then went to Fedex Kinkos to scan some more Mary pix that I found in storage yesterday.


• I ate some Baked Lays potato chips in honor of Mary - one of her many favorite snacks. (along with pretzels w/mustard, pumpkin seeds and diet coke)

You are so loved Mary!!! We will not forget you! How could we??!!

Valentines Love

This Valentines picture was sent to me from my sweet neice Kelsey!

What a wonderful day I have had......let me share with you!

It started out with me waiting patiently for my canary diamond Chad was having delivered to me on Valentines Day by UPS. I waited outside and saw the FedEx truck, the mailman and a moving van. I was in the breezeway at one end of the building waiting and watching and listening to the cardinals chirping at the other other end of the building. Then UPS fianlly arrived. It was a start to a beautiful day.

I went into my closet and pulled out my PINK sweatshirt from Victoria's Secret and told Chad that this was Mary's favorite sweatshirt - I think I'll wear it today.

From there we went to the "Lavender Letter" to pick up our "Save the Date" cards. They turned out BEAUTIFUL!

Chad had a surprise for me and told me he wanted to take me somewhere Mary would want to go. I was ready. With Mary in both our hearts, we pulled up to the "Little Shelter" where they were having a dog adoption event. (If you knew Mary, you would know her love for dogs). We parked our car in a woodsy area and as we got out, there was the most beautiful cardinal that appeared to us on the wire fence between the animal shelter food shed and the area that we parked. It was redder than the cardinals that have made a home behind my patio. It was small and had a shine that glistened like a star. I was amazed. She was with us today. We didn't adopt a dog, but we did meet one that was so much like our "Angel" we had so many years ago. The cardinal was there to say Good -Bye, possibly even to say Happy Valentines! What a wonderful Day it has been!

As if that wasn't enough to make my day, Chad & I went to a jeweler that the "Lavender Letter" lady, Vivienne had recommended to us for a setting for my new canary. We felt welcomed the minute we entered. We mentioned what we had in mind and the sales lady was off to the engagement ring section and came back with EXACTLY what we had been dreaming up. I couldn't believe it ~ we are very particular with what we want and was in shock when she brought to us exactly that! Wow!

It's been the most incredible day today! Mary has been with us all the way.

Did I mention I got a beautiful lil Valentines day card from Laurie in the mail ~ with a comic from "Mutts" showing two dogs in the snow saying "this place needed a splash of red" looking up at a cardinal in the tree?

So many signs! Mary's signs are fluttering all around us!