Saturday, April 11, 2009

Today! Tears & Joy...


I cried for you this morning when I read your dear friend Laurie's poem on her blog about you! It was so sweet & I just sat there picturing you as she described what you were wearing that last day she saw you.

Then I went about my day, thinking about how I wish you were here with me. I was headed to try on my wedding dress that had come in just days before. I went alone, but felt you with me.

Then I went to Michaels craft store to get things for Courtney's baby shower.... your sweet lil Kelsey called me. She sounded a lil sad & I didn't have to ask why, I already knew. I hung up with her with a promise to call later that night.

I went home & picked up Chad so we could pick up my wedding shower favors at "Bed, Bath & Beyond" ~ you would love them Mary, they were bought because of you. Lovely soothing lavender fragnant diffusers. We headed to Party City after that & I had to sit in the car for a few. I started crying as I thought about Kelsey & Brett & how they have to live without you. My heart bleeds for them. My loss is terrible, but I have 35 years of memories, they only have a few.

It's been a tough day today Mary... but it gets better - YOU MUST READ ON...

Staying with the wedding/baby shower theme for the day, Chad & I were looking for a particular picture for Courtneys shower when I came across a video of photos of you that Chad & I made only a month after you left us.. once again, tears just ran from my eyes, dripping down my face. I couldn't stop them - I tried!

I had to head out to go to meeting....

Weak from crying, I started to drive, I had to stop short in my tracks because a Robin walked RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY CAR! I thought that was peculiar and it even made me smile. The lil bird seemed to be there just for me. To take my mind off the pain and brighten my day. It did - for a moment!

I was almost out of my complex, when all of a sudden TWO Robin's flew within 2 feet in front of my car. They got my attention! Again!! The first incident was pretty incredible, but the second one made me start questioning my sanity. Was this really happening? Am I really being summoned by these birds or am I imagining things?! Have I opened myself up to see this or is this a normal daily thing I never paid attention to before? I don't know. It seems too incredible to be true. As I'm questioning my sanity, I am also bewildered with sheer joy with these encounters. Whether I was going insane or not, I loved it!! Well, it doesn't stop there.

I left the complex and headed down the road. As I was slowing down, I had to come to a halt because another Robin walked (Yes, Walked!!) right in front of my car. That is 4! 4 Robins comforting me... stopping me in my tracks to bring me back to my senses. You can imagine my state of sanity at this point! yes, I was beyond words, my head was spinning with excitement. Certainly this has to be an act of God! Never! Never in my 39 years of life has this happened to me. I would remember! Wow! This had been the most adventuresome journey. I continued on to my destination. With my window cracked for some fresh air, it was the Robin's distinct tunes I heard. As I neared the place I had to be, I happened to look up on the telephone wire and beautiful grey dove was perched up there staring at me. I am about to lose my mind at this time because I am so amazed at the wonderments of my birds following me. I pull into the parking lot of my destination and hear the sound of the Robin's song up in the tree. I raised my head high and what did I see?? A Robin at the very tip of the big tree.

Well, needless to say, I had a wonderful meeting - Oh, I almost forgot, the person speaking at my meeting was wearing a baseball hat with a RED CARDINAL on it & his name was David!!

Mary, Mary, Mary - you are everywhere - the signs are here for me to see! I see! I see!
The day isn't over just yet... I spoke to our sweet lil sis Lisa & she tells me about her blog she was inspired to write about you today. So beautiful it was! It brought tears to me one more time.
Your life was so valued here Mary & we miss you so much.
Thank you so much for staying near.

I spoke to Kelsey again to end my day....
don't worry Mary, she's going to be okay.


Laurie Kolp said...

God is wonderful- He is sending you signs to help you heal. I am so glad you are able to see and recognize them. Mary will always live on through our memory and this beautiful blog. Keep upi the great work! Love you!

Susan said...

It seems so appropriate that your Mary signs are birds. Grandma loved birds. You may not remember but grandma and grandpa had a bird bath and would put bird feed out by it for the birds and "her" birds would come and eat there. She loved the cardinals and the robins. She would even do a robin call to talk to them. Actually they both enjoyed all the birds and would tell us the different kinds etc.
Love your blog. and love you!