Saturday, November 29, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
For others life is
short with quality of time.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
My wedding plans seem to be missing something.... I was waiting for you Mary.
I miss dad so
You were supposed to be my maid of honor - standing by my side.
Well, that's okay, Kelsey will stand in for you. You're lil spit fire! She is not going to let anyone forget you is what I was told....LOL, I believe it :).... me neither!
Having David give me away is really special. We all have a plan and a place right?
Yeah, I've never been one to go "by the book" or "followed the A-typical plan", thank goodness in this case. I don't mind improv or compromise!
Friday, November 21, 2008
Red cardinals, blue spirit balls, answered wishes and heartfelt feelings....
A nest you made, in my treeoutside my door, for me to see!
Thank you Mary for not leaving me.
Blue balls of light, caught on film, brings you to my sight.
At Grandma's grave, you were so brave to show yourself ~ I see you Mary!
Thank you for not leaving me.
I love you more than words can say and just because your body's not here, I know it's in my heart your here to stay!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
There is so much more than just this life on earth.I love you so much..... I feel you everywhere ~ all the time! We are like one soul.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
She was crying for you. She was talking about missing her little Mary. She cried for some signs to know you are okay. Please do what you can!
During her cries, she was talking about us at Disneyland and going through "It's a Small world" and loving Disneyland.
I had to run home and post these pictures of that time she cried about!
She mentioned LoJolla Beach, California too.
This seems to be the era to remember. . . . .
I was talking to my sister Lisa on Sunday, reminissing about life with Mary in Long Beach, California. How close we were and the things we would do.
How we would hide in the closet when we got scared. We would get ALL our stuffed animals, huddle close together and sing "Jesus Loves Me" & "Cumbyah my Lord" ~ songs we learned in Sunday School.
As we were talking, the biggest brightest red cardinal flew into the tree just 5 feet in front of me. I was speechless. Then a female cardinal followed right behind. I just stared at the beautiful birds so close to me and screeled with delight in Lisa's ear. Before I finished admiring or even wondering if they were real, they were gone!
Oh Mary, so beautiful, so sweet & so fast. Just a flash, that's all I got.
Life is like that too: Beautiful * Sweet * Fast!
Momma misses you Mary ~ We all miss you!
Monday, November 10, 2008
Today I will accept thatI don't have to know why things are the way they are.Instead I can pay attention tohealing, growing, and learning!
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Dear Judge Walker,
I'm sure you know that my sister, Mary McCraw took her life on March 22, 2008. She had some demons she was dealing with. You did not help her with your mandate to jail. It may not be your place to look at a person's past record of life to determine the level of punishment, that is too bad. Mary did not have any sort of record. She was a teacher, a mother, an inspiration to all who came in contact with her.I hope you learn about the disease of addiction. It is not pretty. It is not prejudice, it gets the best of us. Doctors, Lawyers, Teachers.... Mary's was a late progression. There was hope, she was going to get better. Do you know Mary got beat up, molested and robbed in jail? Maybe you don't have any sorrow. I wouldn't expect you too.
I just wanted you to know that I have forgiven you for not stepping down from my sisters case when you should have. Because of your close relationship with her in-laws, there was serious conflict of interest. You treated Mary as if she was a hardened repeat offender... She didn't have a chance with you as her judge. No Mercy. So so sad. Well,we know who the real judge is. She is with him now! I pray for you and hope you learn the difference between someone who is sick and someone who is bad.
I don't blame you for Mary's death, but I do acknowledge the wrongful sentence you chose for a sweet soul that needed help, not shackles. She made a couple bad choices but you broke her. She's at peace now and I guess I have you to thank for that.
You can be angry for my words or you can put it behind you and make a difference in everything you do from this day forward. May God be with you in your work and home. I believe you get back what you put out there.
A Loving Sister,
Saturday, November 8, 2008
"We're having left over chili, but it doesn't have ANY beans. What the heck are
people thinking of making a chili without beans! It's not chili without
I nearly fell out of my seat laughing. Only because just the week before Chad & I were grocery shopping picking out some chili to make with macaroni noodles (mine & Mary's way - we loooooved Chili mac), and Chad picked out some chili with-out beans. I had the same emotional reaction Kelsey had. Pure passion about the fact that:
"It's not chili if it has no beans!"
I told him so! Almost word for word what Kelsey said to me. So many lil things like that bring me closer to my sweet lil neice. She is a lil replica of Mary & has alot of my personality too. I cried sweet tears when I hung up the phone and swore I would never forget that moment that bonded me to my neice so many miles away.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Let me tell you about it by emotion:
10/31 Chad & I pick up my engagement ring
11/1 Mom's B-day & Chad & I look at two places for our ceremony
11/2 We realize we have to find a place asap to get a decent date so we drive by & visit 7 more places on our list ~ We decide on a place & a date (MY 40th B-day)
11/3 My baby nephew MAX fell out of his baby carrier & is rushed to hospital. Max has surgery & is in ICU...
11/3 Frantic about my brother, I had been calling & texting him for 2 1/2 days to tell him so much news. Finally get ahold of him 11/4.
During all this time I'm worried about Max & about Lisa
11/4 Brian tells me he has asked his girlfriend to marry him...i worry about how Kelsey & Brett are taking the news. It's been 7 months since Mary's death.
11/5 - 11/7 I've had several "Mary attacks" - that's where I just think of Mary & start crying.