Dad Visit - March 2007 - Signs from Above

I realized that I hadn't written about something pretty significant that actually happened to both Mary and I just days apart and 2000 miles away. March 2007! A sign from above. I have it documented in my journal and even found the letters to and from Mary.....

Mary and I were writing letters to each other for a couple years. I have hundred's of them. There was a time when we couldn't talk to each other over the phone so we wrote....every single day. 2000 miles apart, but always in our hearts!

MARY'S STORY:

Mary wrote to me about something that happened to her on Sunday, March 3, 2007. She was in the gymnasium with over 300 girls. One of them decided to stand up and sing "Wind Beneath my Wings" - this is the song that was played at our dad's funeral in 1993. Very significant song. Mary went on to tell me how normally she is able to remove herself from "the situation" when she hears this, but this time was different. She started shaking and crying uncontrollable. She ran to the bathroom to hide from the pain that she was still feeling inside. She went on to write:

I knew Dad was with ME - He was Jeni! I saw Him and I said "Dad take me to be with you, Please!" I swear i saw his face and he said "Not yet - Not yet" he said it twice. how crazy is that?

MY STORY:

While that happened to Mary March 3rd, I still hadn't known about this yet because we couldn't call each other at this time. On Wednesday, March 6, 2007 I had my own visit from our dad. I was driving to the train on this morning headed to NYC. All of a sudden out of nowhere I felt my dad's presence in my car with me. Don't ask me how. I just knew. At this point, he has been gone 14 years and in all these years i have never had this happen. I wasn't scared, I wasn't even that shocked for some reason. I felt very comfortable.

He quickly and in a flash reminded me of the things he had taught me such as the power of forgiveness and allowing things to be water under the bridge...He told me he was proud of me for taking care of Mary and everything I was doing was good. He reminded me of how I am his Angel and then I mentally thanked him for being mine. He told me to stay warm, wear my hat and enjoy life today, that I will be appreciated and discovered soon. (He-he.... funny dad - he always said that to me and he always called me his angel.) He went on to tell me a quick little joke. "Life is too short to be so damn serious!"

Yup, that was it! Amazing.... it all happened in a matter of seconds.

I was so excited, I couldn't wait to tell Mary. I wrote her a letter immediately. You can only imagine my surprise that as I was mailing this story to her, I received her letter to me about her visit.

Those were some tough times for Mary and because I loved her so much and did everything I could mentally and physically every single day, they were tough on my heart and soul too. I felt everything she did. It's as if we are twins.... that's how connected I was/am to Mary. Our dad visiting us was a gift from above in a time of need.

We were comforted! Amazed and connected! A sign that we are not alone!!

Missing You.....

Man do I miss you Mary! I'm still in shock that you're gone! Can it really be? I was thinking about writing a letter to that judge Walker in honor of you. Telling him I forgive him for his unjust decisions and unlawful right to try you. He had no right residing as your judge dear sister. Treating you as a criminal. 34 years of good should count for something! Someone needs to teach him about the disease and progression of addiction or better yet, maybe he will learn first hand by someone he loves. If he loves at all. Poor guy.
He crushed your hope and ruined any faith in a just system. I understand why you did what you did Mary. If I were living under the reign of Walker I would feel hopeless too. He's a terrible man and did a terrible crime of over punishment and throwing you to the system. You were not what he painted you to be. I had hope sweet sister. I knew the disease had you, but I also knew that it is cureable & you were on the right track. You WANTED help, so that is the first step. It's not easy, but you could've done it.
Well, I will never pray for bad on anyone sis, but I do believe you get what you put out there & Walker will get his! The world will see to it. I have faith.
I look forward to the day I see you again. I just miss you sis. Your love, your energy, your high spirit & positive light! You loved everyone! (except yourself)....
Well, I loved you enough for both of us! Your life is missed here. How lucky Heaven is!
I'm loving your lil legacy's sis ~ they are okay....tough lil cookies! They miss you of course... who doesn't. You were so enlightening.

Angel Sighs

I am still here sis! I know you know that.... Not a waking day goes by that I don't wish upon a star that you show me how you are. The heavens have been blessed with your Angelic spirit and comforting ways. I pray that you know you are missed but also know you are rejoiced. Your life was a treat but you were tortured with worry. The last thing I want you to do is be sad where you (if that's even possible), angels are not supposed to sigh. We will all see each other again, with that faith, I am able to do what i need to do here on earth without falling into a dark hole. Please don't worry sweet sis - i worry that you worry. I'm okay, your kids are okay, Brian is learning to be okay... he misses you terribly, but he's okay, momma's all right ~ we have each other and are holding on tight.
You left us with two sweet angels! Thank you momma Mary! No worries anymore ~ your love is spreading throughout the family and keeping us close. When I close my eyes I can see your smile so bright and when i open my ears i hear you singing praise. I treasure you Mary and sing with you. You are home now. Tell daddy I love him & Crystal too. Grandma & Grandpa are in my thoughts .... please pass along my love & hear me when i pray for you!
Laurie is a Godsend - thank you for that!

BFF - I found your Friend!

WoW! After 3 years of searching and wondering... I found your friend Kerri! I'm only so sorry it took so long! Her discovery of your loss is very tramatic, just as I thought it would be. Best Friends like you & Kerri don't fade with just a few years! You have been friends since jr. high & know each other like no'one else. Well, except the pain you struggled with so deep inside. I knew Mary... I really did! That's why I sent you all the love & help I did! Well, all my love is still with you! I am giving it to Kelsey & Brett now ~ okay!