Saturday, August 22, 2009

A Little Sadness

I've been just a little sad and down lately... been trying to shake it off! I have such a wonderful husband - there's nothing like marrying your best friend!!

He reminds me that I have had the biggest and longest high in my entire life. 9 months of planning an event of a lifetime and a week and day full of all my loved ones here in NY just for us!

Real life or life as it was before we decided to get married is a struggle getting back to.... it's not happening like a light switch.

I know that this is just the way its supposed to be and I will flow back into life. I think I might be having some Kelsey & Brett withdrawals too....we had them for 9 days and what a memoriable time. Chad is sharing "Charlie the Unicorn" youtube video with everyone ~ thanks Brett :)!!

I've also had more time now in my head and Mary is there. I miss her soooo much! It's hard to believe she was here and now she's not. I know she is here in spirit or with me like bubbles in a bubble bath, but I miss her sweet voice and energy and love she so freely gave. I get lumps in my throat that spill out of my eyes frequently these days. I remind myself that she is still here and in the end we will all be together. Life on earth is so short - so I am trying to enjoy every moment and give and love! I am getting ready for the next venture in life!
I have so much to be grateful for and that is what I am going to focus on...
I chose this picture to put with this blog because it shows the comfort my dear husband is always giving me. I look a little sad in this picture & Chad is there to lift me up.


Kerri said...

I understand your feelings. Today was a little difficult because I decided to put a photo album together for our son. I had to dodge the pictures from being flooded by the tears. Life is definitely difficult and NOT exactly what we thought it would be. But, in the midst of the pain, God gets us back on track and turns our sorrow into JOY. I am sorry you are hurting... But, like you said, "you and Mary will be together, again."Just keep looking at that promise. And, one more thing...feeling sad is a sign of healing. So, let yourself grieve. The pain will ease up as you feel it. I have learned that through my own experiences with loss.

I love you,

Laurie Kolp said...

Sweet Jeni~ I'm so sorry you are feeling sad lately. I guess planning the wedding and all kept your mind occupied and now you feel somewhat of a let-down now that it's over. Naturally, you are thinking about what was occupying your mind before all the planning...Mary. I agree w/ Kerri that this is all part of the grieving process. Maybe you can go to extra mtgs. and find a newcomer to help!

Oh- I'm so glad you had lots of time w/ Kelsey and Brett! I hope to talk to you soon.

Love ya, Laurie